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Friends of both genders tell that their experiences have been hard in different ways.My guy friends (also educated, attractive) complain that they get no responses and female acquaintences tell me that they get so many emails, etc, that they don’t know where to start-and often do nothing.
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And as you get into your mid-30’s, the bar scene is really old and set-ups have become a bit of a joke. But because it creates opportunity where previously there was none. My best friend in New York is marrying a man she met on e Harmony. My sister’s best friend is in love with a man she met on e Harmony. So as I see it, you have two choices: quit online dating and make a supreme effort to go to as many parties, coffee shops and adult education classes as possible OR try to find a way to avoid the worst of the online daters.
While it’s nice to say, “I want to meet someone organically, where our eyes meet, so I can feel chemistry”, that simply doesn’t happen very often. My first love, in 2003, was a Filipino woman that worked in the pharmaceutical industry and lived in a different part of town. I have dozens of clients who are married, engaged and in love with people they met online. So let’s acknowledge the flaws of online dating: the liars, the bores, the flakes, the crazies, the morons, the perverts, the poor spellers, and so on. The third, and most popular choice, is to quit and wait for your soulmate to drop out of the sky, like “The Secret” for love. Your best bet is to keep dusting yourself off, learning from your mistakes, and staying in the game. But sometimes, with enough perseverence (as well as luck, timing, a good profile and a positive attitude), you’ll fall in love.
If you choose to wait for lightning to strike until you go on another date with the “right” guy, you might be waiting a long, long time. Listen, you might think I’m nuts to keep on preaching positivity. All I know is that it’s freakin’ HARD to meet someone.
We have our small lives: our circle of married friends, our work buddies, a few single people, and that’s it.